Saturday, November 22, 2008

My Kiddos

These are my kiddos. You all know Miss Lucy, and you all have seen Joey before, but I never really explained much about him. Perhaps I was afraid I would be judged, perhaps because the truth is painful. Joey is the son I placed for adoption 18 years ago as a scared young girl. Although he had always just knew me as Jill, he found out I was his biological mother in 2000. I remember that day vividly. We both just sobbed and sobbed. Last week he flew to Ohio for a week to visit with my family. During this time he confided in me that he is angry about me adopting Lucy. I pretty much had figured that out, as he really didn't have much to do with her. I cannot blame him for his feelings, and take responsibility for it. Things were just SO different way back then, and I thought I was doing what was best for HIM. But that doesn't mean it doesn't hurt, and I get that. The night before he flew back to Wisconsin, and said he would let me take a picture of the 2 of them together. My heart was so full of joy! I know he still doesn't fully understand, but I feel this is a great first step. And hey, I will take what I can get. I love them BOTH!

18 comments:

God's Girl said...

Oh... God can do amazing things and I pray that He does in your kid's lives.

Keep praying for his heart and his walk with the Lord and watch and wait to see what God will do!

Jan said...

Jill,
We all follow a path. For what ever reason, things always work out. You made a decision that was right for you especially at that time. You could have chosen an alternate route, instead, you found a home where your son would be loved and cared for. Much like Lucy is loved and cared for by you. Understandably, a painful situation no doubt, however in time, as Joey grows, like all of us do, there comes maturity and understanding. Time and faith heals, and pain lessens. That beautiful picture of your children together is a wonderful, positive step toward that healing. Your son is a brave young man to face this anger. It shows that he can heal. You are so fortunate to have that step. Never worry about being judged. You did what was right for you! Sending you lots and lots of hugs!!! Jan

*Overflowing* said...

Oh Jill, what a precious post! I find it absolutely beautiful. He will understand in time!! Hugs!!

BTW, I saw your post on my dear friend's blog (blessedbeyondblessed). That was our "I" she was talking about :) It's truly amazing how color blind children really are. Even my 11yr. is STILL color blind :) We truly need to chat one of these days! ~stacy

a little leprechaun said...

Very powerful post. Thank you for sharing.

On a lighter note, we just adopted our daughter from the Jiangxi Province!

Kelly said...

I believe by him telling you he is angry, that it was his way of reaching out to you and taking that first step. In time and through God's amazing ways, he will come around. He is still so young and probably does not "get it" yet.
I am so happy for you that you got that time with him and I hope you get a lot more time with him.
I am praying for you girl.
HUGS

Carrie said...

thanks for coming by my blog-wow I will pray for you and your family and I need to read your blog. I don't know what to say but God's Girl was right God does amazing things!

Tracey said...

Wow...that is intense...I understand both sides and you made the right decision...I am glad you are getting to know him. God Bless.

Jonni said...

Jill,

I am so glad you shared your story with us. I have such joy in my heart for the amazing mom you are. You were doing what was best for Joey and you knew that was best for him at that point in your life. I believe it is a very selfless thing to put a child up for adoption when you know that you are too young to care for them. I can certainly understand Joey's feelings as well and it sounds like you guys have turned a corner. Please don't worry about being judged. I think you are a terrific lady. Joey does too, I can tell. It looks like he loves his sister and she loves him and I hope there are many more happy times to come with Joey, Lucy and the new baby.

Love you guys,
Jonni

P.S. Your new blog design is gorgeous.

My Blessed Life said...

Thank you for sharing your story. You have beautiful children. You are an amazing mom. God bless you all.

AZMom said...

Wow. What an amazing story Jill. I can't begin to tell me how much that touched me. I have tears in my eyes reading it. It just hit home.

Big hugs to you.

Teresa said...

All true moms do what they know in their heart is the best for their children. Sometimes it means realizing that you are giving them great parents because you know yourself well enough at 18 to know you're not prepared to be a good parent. My children are growing up knowing that thier birthparents are not terrible people, but in fact are amazing people who made a tremendous sacrifice for their child's sake. No one is allowed to say one unkind thing about them or they will get an earful from me! Your son will soon realize that a scared 18 year old on their own is very different than a 36 year old married woman.

Here's a link I came across the other day. This mom is a birthmom who is also an adoptive mom who met her daughter's birthmom, and is also an adoptive mom heading to China. I think you might be able to relate to her. Her perspective is amazing.

http://journeytome.com/journal_view.cfm?journalid=1185&entry=23862

Teresa

Lynn said...

Wow, thank you so much for sharing this par of your life with us.

Hugs,
Lynn

Michelle said...

Jill,
Thanks for sharing this intimate detail with us. I am sure you will cherish this photo of two gorgeous kids!

Beverly said...

my aunt did the same, gave one son up for adoption in the 50s and adopted a son after she married. Sadly, unlike your son, her first son didn't get the chance to meet her, her second son or any of us, she passed with the secret on her lips. Only after her death did the information come out. You are not judged. One day your son will understand and it may take becoming a parent to do so.

a Tonggu Momma said...

Jill ~ What a powerful post. Thank you so much for sharing your story with us. What a cherished photo that must be to you. And I am so happy for you and for him that you have a relationship. Blessings to you, as always.

Sharon said...

That is beautiful! He is soo handsome too. In our extended family ,we have the exact same story. even the years!!

Mom To Six said...

I just came across your blog and was so very moved by your words in this post. I have a 2 year old that we adopted domestically as a newborn and we also have 2 Chinese sweeties adopted in the past 2 years.

I cannot emphasize how grateful we are to our son's birthmother for giving him life and allowing us this blessing.

Thank you for sharing.

Ohilda

hipgal said...

I think it says *a lot* that he was able to talk to you about it. Especially for a teenage boy! You must have a great relationship. I know he will grow to understand in time. And who could really resist Lucy for too long? :)